maybe, just maybe i should let go.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
i dont feel good. its been weeks. i hate you. guess you dont have the bloody guts right? cause of this shit thats happening, i treat people wrongly. yes, why get them invovled? but i guess its just me to throw my tantrums huh? whatever it is, you are just ruining me. not a day pass without me thinking what the hell is wrong with you. guess i cant afford to say anything. i just have to shut the fck up and let it go. even if i have to let it go slowly, i will. i cannot let myself cling onto this thing. there is no sure thing so might as well i back off, shut the fck up and slowly let everything go. its the best thing to do right now. cause seriously, im killing myself. nobody knows that im killing myself with thoughts of you. nobody knows how you are killing me. no fcking body. im all alone in this. like it or not, i have to be strong. i got to find the strength to leave all the memories and shut the door and never eever open it. its no use. why rememberor dread over something or someone when they dont show the need to even be remembered? waste energy only. at the end of the day, im just hurting myself. why on freaking earth am i doing so? for what must i hurt myself when clearly, evidence shows that you dont give no shit. i have no idea why the fck im doing this. i should freaking stop. i need to stop. i got to stop doing this to myself. i need to show myself that life is wonderful even though you're not there to remind me. i need to learn to manage everything. i cannot depend on you or anyone else. i need to depend on myself. i need to stop this feeling. stop this shit. i got to. thats a promise. i need to stop thinking of you. i have to get over it. you're not going to come. not now, not ever.
and now, i know that there are things that will change. i finally see it now. at last.
and i swear, it hurts but il just try to be strong.
to those awesome people whom i mistreated cause of this issue, thanks for not taking it to heart. i love you all. i swear you guys are just awesome people. you guys know what im going thru and are helping me thru this. you guys are just the best. i have no idea how to thank you guys. i promise to try my best to just let it go. slowly kay? you guys know whats happening right? help me thru this guys. i know you guys want the best for me. i love you guys for being the bestest people ive ever met. thanks guys. idk how the hell i would cope without you guys. sumpah korang awesome. i love you guys!