i hate the fact that i miss you when i shouldnt.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
ive no idea why things are going the downside lately. this week has been a tremendously horrible one. even though its not even the end of the week.i hate it when people fake things. when you think you knew them but to them you seemed like a see-through. you're not that important to them. it hurts. a whole lot. but all i could do is just keep it to myself cause there's the safest place ever. nobody will be able to spread the news cause only you know them. only yourself.
how strong can i be? how strong am i? tears were shed this past few days. its hurtful. its too much pain to bear but that's just a part of life isnt it? somethings are just not meant to last, some things last but they're not in the best condition. just like all the things in life. i hate it when situations get out of hand.
i still miss you. thats it. sorry to you know who you are. and you. you're still on my mind. i still think of you. almost all the time. but most of the times. i hate you for leaving such a great impact on my life. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. thanks for making my life miserable. THANKS A WHOLE LOT. how the hell did you creep into my life and leave a f-ing big impact? why did you do all this? you may say its not your fault. but it is. maybe it isnt. why did you find me in the first place? you were the one who came right into my life and then you left me just like that. is my life a game to you? is it for you to do as you please? huh? you came when you wanted to, you left whenever you wanted to as well. am i a toy? you said you didnt toy with me but hey, YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE! now tell me, am i in the wrong? you were the one who came looking for me laa please. if you didnt come into my life none of this would have happened right? i would never remember you the way i do. i would never talk or think of you the way i do. but i guess the milk has been spilled and you'd get sick if you drink a contaminated milk cause its dirty and its not good for those who are weak. i know you're clever enough to figure this out. im sure you get what i mean mister. thanks for ruining almost a year of my life. fine, blame me for toying with you but you started it. like you said before, maybe this is just retribution for what you did to whoever it was. hope you're happy living your single life. remember the promise you made boy. the one you said you'll remain single till you go to work. but i guess the promises you made means nothing to you now huh. im out of your life. the promises is nothing. go break all of them alright boy? break them all. whatever it is, tanggung sendiri ehh? love you so much for ruining my life. why dont you reappear and disappear so you can leave more impact on my life then shatter my hearts to millions and millions of pieces just by giving me false hope of you being my friend forever and staying there? thanks a lot friend. only you, me and someone knows who im talking about. and you my dear, know that its you right?
ugh. thats a whole chunk of words for you. yes, its yours. all yours. maybe you deserve this but maybe you dont. only god knows right? so much for going to change together. thanks for helping me do nothing but dwell on the past. thanks ehh? you are so awesome. i love you for that. thanks for everything. esp for the miserable ones cause i know you'd be smiling at my misery. love you loads my dear friend.
i should stop talking about you. heart aches but whatthehell. i should not even be thinking of you. im done here. update when i feel like it. okay bye.